10 Things I’ll Stop Saying When I Get the NYTimes on my Kindle DX

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1. “Honey, wake up. I heard a noise outside.” “It’s 3am. It’s probably just the paper.”
2. wobble. wobble. “This table’s a little wobbly. Hand me the Mutual Funds section.”
3. rrrrrrrrip…. “OMG. You have to read this!!”
4. “Okay. Next Sunday you carry the papers and I’ll buy breakfast.”
5. “Crap. My coffee cup is leaking. Hand me a section. Quick!!!”
6. “You’ve got something on your nose. Right there. I think it was just some ink.”
7. “Shakespeare fits. But then 22-down would be offsep. Thaaat can’t be right.” erase. erase.
8. “Can you take the recycling down? It’s like the Tower of Pisa in here!”
9. “Aaarrgh! Take that, pesky fly!” splat.
10. “I swear this paper just keeps getting thinner.”

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